Whats really been keeping my spirits up today, is just that she said shes still here and she cares enough to tell me this before hurting me. We argued and she left, after two week I called her and we talked, she said she had forgiven but now she is too cold and dry when we talk, because she used to call me babe, swee, love but right now she doesnt. Im very glad she cares enough about me to tell me this before either one of us gets hurt, although she told me she felt like she was poison to me, which I didnt agree with entirely but I can see where shes coming from. Apollonia, My girlfriend and I have been together for quite a while now and have hit a rough spot. She said I was perfect and everything she looking for in a man and she wishes we could have worked out. But Im also sure shes talking to other guys (and girls obviously) and to be honest, Im sure one of them, sexually. She took this as (from her being alone for so long and not having anyone to answer to for these) as me being overbearing and clingy, which was not my intention whatsoever. This happened 4 days ago and I have not done the best to give her space because of my fear of losing her. This is because she hasnt totally let go of the past yet and she thought she could be happy with me with ease. its hard given her space When we began dating I noted she had some insecurities and personal issues such as low self-esteem. I am 100% committed to her and love her, she feels the same on multiple occasions. I think giving her space will give you back your sense of control but also give you time to reflect and make some changes for that not to happen again. I have not called/texted/emailed. She also doesnt like when I touch her anymore and I respect that, but I do not know whey things changed drastically as they did (she was always comfortable around me but now gets triggered by my touch sometimes). As I said it was weird because she was so in to me and vice versa so it was out of the blue.. thanks, Hello Iwan, Everything was great! On our date we talk about everything. Hi Scott. Thank you for reading my blog about when she says she needs space. This is a 4-day transformational retreat. We fell in love during everything and became very attached to each other. Separations are hard and the pain heals over time. And my sudden neediness. I told her two days later I realized things got to crowded and overwhelming. The next day she said that shes not in a good head space (understandable from going through a break up + what we just did), and she said that she needs space for a little awhile. If youre interested in some individualized guidance, heres the link to book a private session as Apollonia would need more details and to make time in her schedule;https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/ So is it over? Hello Jeffrey, Im still at a loss here and Ill tell you everything. Is that sign from her she is not interest with me anymore? ha. Yes, letting her have space but also focusing on you and moving forward instead of backward. But i still want to know the terms and conditions of the space like how long? Best, I have respected her time and space because I care so much. I would suggest reading Codependent No More by Melody Beattie, Attached by Amir Levine and No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover. Any advice would be greatly received as i feel like Ive lost a wife not a friend! I would wait for at least 30 days. I always worry about things I shouldnt. But we are still functioning the same as if I was in the house. Thank you so much. Its been a week since we last talked and Ive been kind of stressed and anxious that shes gonna move on and lose feelings for me for how long shes asking. Im so sorry to hear about this and I know how tough this can be to deal with. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/. She said she isnt happy with the way I am as it affects her and worried about me all the time on top of being stressed with her new job. Last time she was visiting me she felt smothering about my country, so she went back a week early. I say to step away for about a good 3 weeks and let her initiate. She moved out this past wknd, but really hadnt been at our home for a month due to work travel and staying with her family. But last week but one I had an emergency and I asked for her help and she told me she cant be of help right now so I was all cool but then she said ive been thinking about it all along and cant support me at all and that she needs a break up. So i keep my claim and try to talk things out. Best, She said she needed time to herself so she can focus on herself and Better herself. Tuesday night tried calling her just to clarify things but she dis not answer but replied that she wants a more days to think things over. She has days off but doesnt call as she would be. I asked, should we just end the relationship. Ive always been the nice guy , I acted weak, on situations in which I should have been strong, and it seems she have lost her attraction to me. Thank you. Last week she found love texts of another girl in my phone. On a side note, she is very close with her mom and shares everything and her mom, who I am friends with as I have gotten close to her family, still texts me as if her daughter hasnt said anything negative about us. ? All of these questions are negative self-talk in your head, and its not going to do you any good. My insecurities got the better of me after she returned from a work trip. You can book a coaching call using this link, I admit that i was not spending time with my friends and doing things separate and therefore, one week ago, she told me she wants to break up because she needs her space right now, she said she feels she lost herself and she did not follow her wants, maybe i will not come back she said and moved to a hotel, found a flat and will move there. I know Apollonia would love to help you with your situation but she would need more information about what youre going through in order to advise you properly. It seems like there is a lot of things going on with her life right now that can be hard for her but I completely understand this! I told her that I truly meant it and that I want to learn more about her faith and Im not doing it to solely be with her, but that Im always looking to better my life spiritually, emotionally, and physically and that I wanna come to her church every Sunday with her so I can meet her parents that way too (Ive never met her parents because theyre very strict and when we would hangout, she would have to sneak out of her house to see me late at night or we would have to get up super early before or after class to go on breakfast dates). Right now i really do not know what to do, I found also a flat to move in order not to stay in a flat that is full of memories. my gf said that she needs some time to rest/space, and Im starting to follow your guide, my problem is Ive hear my gf is flirting with another guy, (confirmed) what should i do?? It was a long distance relationship and would see her as often as possible. If she wanted space I would give it to her and respect the fact she just needed some time alone sometimes. She said she needed space 2 days ago and honestly my heart is breaking because she means the world to me. This doesnt mean that you jump on her lap like a crying puppy while you blubber the following Do not text her. Hello Christopher, Any text or conversation Ive been the one to initiate it. (Which was true). I admit that I had been acting overbearing/needy/clingy the previous week. We had attempted intimacy 3x but she has anxiety/depression and I have ED from diabetes. Best, Do i just let it be and hope she contacts me in the near future and hope she doesnt find somebody else? Its very painful. Furthermore, if a woman is being emotional and is doing this for attention, this is your time to ask her to dig a little deeper into her insecurities and to figure it out and fix it because you cannot play these games with her. Shes Always out with Her Girlfriends She might not enjoy her time with you as much and might always prefer to spend time with her girlfriends. But dont know what to do? Once we go over the details as of the relationship I will be able to give you a step by step process on what to do next. She suggested that I read the 5 love languages to get a better understanding why her tank was empty and I thought it was dumb so I didnt do it. My insecurities had gotten the better of meand the alcohol. Best, I approached her about it and she explained to me we needed to talk. I just wanted to know what i could do, It was only 2 months ago when we were inseparable and were genuinely a very very in-love couple. She is 22, has had one sexual partner before me but I am her very first relationship. I know this is a bit complicated. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated! We have been very honest and open book-like with each other. Its important that you stand to respect yourself and the same vice versa. Saying what was I thinking to have another child. I went on 5 dates with this girl (met online) and we like each other. The best thing that you can do to not push her away is improve your social life. I sent her some of her stuff that shed left at my place along with a letter and she sent me a text saying I keep making her smile and when she finds the time she will reply to everything. Once you get to the root of the answer you can work your way around that. Apollonia. I would need more information but give this girl space. Apollonia. We sat in front of each other and then she told me she doesnt want this relationship because she doesnt love me anymore. Hello ! We ran into one another after 2 weeks and she was really happy to see me and reached out to hug me. I want to set up a coaching call with you because I need to know more about what happened in the relationship and how things were handled. She wouldnt put something online that I can see if she was doing something like that andddd she wouldnt give me the chance to call her a liar after Friday (she said shes only talking to me and doesnt even entertain any other guys and that she doesnt even go out with guy friends alone anymore because she doesnt think its appropriate and shes not comfortable with it because shes pretty and she knows how guys are) so what do I do Apollonia? Hey Nathan. I got out, we went for a week Stay-cation with the kids to Great wolf lodge which was a great time and she paid for everything even food but it was ok with her, pretty much we she was all about me and talked on the phone and texted even when she went to visit her family to Kansas we facetime on the phone every day and every night with the kids as well. What does this mean? Cos im going through the same thing and dont know what to do. I respectfully gave her that space with no contact. A lot of men think, How will she know I am more confident and how will she know I have changed? Thats the key right there! While I dont help her with everything, I give her rides places and help her with her emotions through text. Youll get the attraction back when you love yourself and find your values and know your worth. Let her know you are there for her. We still do the good morning texts to each other. I started dating my girlfriend 7 weeks ago. Hello Matt, She has had a very difficult time with just this, as well as with the COVID-19 crisis. Moving forward I am going to give you the top 3 things women do when they might be feeling overwhelmed in the relationship, so you become more aware of when to step back and give her space before she has to say it. Hey apollonia, i really appreciate what you are doing, i have been dating a girl 4years ago(no talk), we knew each other for 3years and broke up. We are at our homes. Ive been with my girlfriend just under a year now and weve always a special bond even when we first met and both had different partners. I gave her pretty much everything in the house. She says she see everything she needs within me but she is clouded by the fact that I have a smaller child that is 2 yrs old. We had a few romantic date before the lady I was living with (business partner & landlady 20 years older) started causing issues. Hello John, 2 weeks ago she told me she want us to make a pause, I think she actually needed space, so thats what I gave her. We had plans, trips, etc. We had been seeing each other for a month or so, and it was all great. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/what-women-find-attractive-17-traits-everything-you-need-to-know/ Her famiLy wont tell me whats going on and they are still friends with me on fb along with her mom and sister and uncle. Not clongy or being pushy. Do I message her? I think it could be very beneficial. Not Sexually Pleasing They may not want to sexually please you or give you anything more than what they like to receive. I can do that but Im not always that guy because that, to me, comes off as a game. Thanks, Hello OG, Let her start to initiate hanging out with you. 2. I believe I can really add value to your relationship and help you out right now.
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